Communities #192
Fall 2021
Note: You can order a copy of this issue here.
In issue #192, “Consent,” authors examine how this theme applies within our personal lives, our lives in community, and in the wider culture. Stories explore how to learn healthy consent practices, how to navigate consent violations and establish accountability, as well as how to incorporate true consent within group decision-making. Articles look at challenges and traumatic experiences as well as success stories, and we hope they will stimulate healthy discussion and positive change within communities.
CONSENT
Wanted: Magazine Ambassadors
Notes from the Editor: Remembering Linda Joseph By Chris Roth
We mourn the loss of our Publisher Liaison and friend, and celebrate a life well-lived.
Views from Our Partners: The Ties that Bind By Paul Freundlich
Community, as both ideal and reality, has the capacity to transcend the usual boundaries.
Consent Culture Requires Liberation from Oppression By Kara Huntermoon
Institutional structures, norms, and policies, such as these developed by Heart-Culture Farm Community, can address and counteract sexism.
Teaching Consent By Crystal Farmer
Let children see you set boundaries, deal with rejection, and ask for help. Above all, listen to the child when they tell you what’s important to them.
Consent in Community By Crystal Farmer
Despite the uncertain terrain, there are guideposts for dealing with consent violations. Here are best practices that can aid your group.
The Red, Yellow, Green Game: Consent and Accountability at Home and in Community By Julia Taylor
Learning to repattern our lives to orient towards consent and responsible repair is to go against all we have ingested about how to orient to the world. For both children and adults, this simple game can help.
Building Consent Culture in New Culture East Community By Indigo Dawn
The creation of life-affirming, body-honoring, intimacy-building consent culture in community is beautiful, messy, gut-punching, heart-expanding work.
On Consent By Jay Glass
Just because the problem is hard doesn’t mean you get to opt out, but also it doesn’t mean you have to be perfect; you probably won’t be. But please do try.
The Sweet Spot of Consent By Amanda Rain
Consent is juiciest when there’s open, honest, transparent communication, and responsiveness to the needs, desires, and boundaries of each person.
Learning Consent through Therapeutic Touch By Ishka Shir
With greater communication skills, both around touch and in general, we have the potential to shift our culture from what is currently often harmful and toxic into a safer, happier, more fulfilled existence.
Party of the First Part By Stephen Wing
Is it actually possible to distinguish / the ones doing the hugging / from the hug itself?
Smashing Chains By Johanna Jackson
Laboring for freedom / is tricky work / when the soul is under capture.
Responding to an Incident of Domestic Violence in Community By Anonymous
Part of my reason for living in community is to avoid the kind of isolation that accompanies male-on-female intimate violence. I know I can run to the nearest community member in moments of conflict and ask that we not be left alone with our struggles.
Gluten-Free Consent By Stephan Nashoba
I think we can all benefit from transitioning away from the Standard American Diet of sexism and consent violations and into a world of trust and ease.
Getting Clear through Consent By Chant Thomas
While people generally link boundaries and consent to intimate relationships, these functions apply to most every interaction in community.
Is Consensus Decision-Making Hard? By Sharon Villines
Decision-making is hard regardless of method. Decisions are easier when we expect them to be hard and allow the time required for everyone to accept the decision, even if they don’t like it.
How Conflict Can Lead to Consensus By Martie Weatherly
A collaborative community needs people who have different points of view and are willing to learn how to use disagreement to find common ground.
Consent: One Journey of Understanding By Anonymous
I have learned that consent exists only when the option to refuse to consent is not linked to threat or harm that precludes real choice.
Consent-Based Decision Making at Songaia Cohousing By Brian Bansenauer and Libby Kelleher Carr
While any decision process has its challenges, ours aligns with our broad community goals of engaging passionately, listening well, and looking for what wants to emerge.
Scaling Small-Group Consent with Sociocracy By Ted Rau
Being in consent, to me, is not only about the mechanics of decision-making. It’s a state of being. It’s the trust that things are taken care of, that I will remain informed, and that I can be heard if necessary.
Two First Things in Building Collective Action By Michael Johnson
To succeed as a group, members must learn to want to hear and understand one another, especially when there is conflict, and also to be willing to disclose feelings, needs, and desires.
Community: Three More “F” Words By Vivian Vaillant
Facilitation, Followership, and Fun can be prerequisites to true Faith when it comes to building strong community.
Navigating a Sea of Obstacles: The 15-Year Journey to Fair Oaks EcoHousing By Marty Maskall
This has certainly been the longest and most difficult project of my life. Yet I can definitely answer YES! to the question of “Was It Worth It?”
In Memoriam: Our Friend and Ecovillage Colleague Linda Joseph, 1952-2021 By Giovanni Ciarlo, Orlando Balbás, Hanne Strong, Ross Jackson, Albert Bates, Lois Arkin, Daniel Greenberg, and Diana Leafe Christian
Sorely missed, instrumental in so many projects and in so many people’s lives, Linda Joseph is remembered with deep appreciation.
* ON THE COVER *
Mixed messages coexist with deeper experiences of nature at a decommissioned reservoir in Oberlin, Ohio. Clear, unambiguous communication is an essential ingredient in consent, which is no laughing matter.